Self-esteem, self-love and self-confidence: a nice trinity
A lack of self-esteem is often caused by an inadequate amount of trust in your own abilities. It is very important that you do not continuously compare yourself to other people who appear more fluent, social or communicative. Everyone is unique and has their own special qualities. It's much more meaningful to direct a warm gaze inwardly instead of outwardly, for it's a step towards increased self-love.
Dare looking at yourself with love!
To look inwardly means that you'll direct your focus to who you are and how you deal with the things that come your way. Are you going to adopt an open and positive attitude, and accept everything that presents itself to you? Or are you going to strive for control and thus waste your energy on negative thoughts?
Self-confidence also means to put faith in your path and your process, and to pay less attention to the results or performances that you achieve.
Occasional failures are the best way to learn, restart, and question yourself. Then, you can begin to correct mistakes, and grow.
The Lord of Chaos is a particularly good teacher. He says that transformation and growth comes from chaos. So when you're worried something won't turn out the way you want it to, don't start panicking. Instead, put your fears aside. It's totally ok and very natural to feel worry, even the best of us experience similar feelings at the beginning of something new. Put trust in occasional failure, it's the most sensible thing to do. Don't let it knock your confidence and self-esteem. Successful people don't throw in the towel after a hit, they always find the courage to overcome. And so can you!
So, how can you deal with persistent negative thoughts or disapproving voices that keep your from being the best version of yourself?
Try to breathe properly! By breathing, you create space for yourself and an entirely new perspective. A loss of confidence and self-esteem puts up blinders.
In my practice, among other things, I teach people to increase their abdominal breathing. It brings peace to the body and clarity to the mind, and thus gets rid of negative thoughts and emotions. It's also important to give yourself compliments. With children, I always advise them to make a compliment box out of paper in which they put one written note with a positive message directed at themselves inside each day. When you're having a bad day, you can get a lot of positive energy from this box. Naturally, this also applies to adults. You can put sticky notes to your agenda, bread box or on your little makeup mirror. I guarantee it will put a smile on your face.
The roots of your lack of self-confidence, self-esteem and self-love is often to be found in your family of origin, your educators and habits. In short, the past, and growing up without encouraging positivity and affirmation has a big effect on who you become.
Good news: you can, and should, release the past. You're free to become the master and creator of your life and your reality. Let's opt for a completely different approach in 2017, shall we?
Visiting a therapist, coach, or spiritual teacher can certainly add value to your life when you need support, understanding, and dialogue. A real classic that I often recommend to people, is the book, "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.
The work of your inner child is also a good way to increase self-love and self-confidence.
Loving yourself adds so much power to your path to real happiness.
Love for the self is a lifelong romance, and should be the most meaningful relationship in your life!
We face ourselves every second of the day, so cherish yourself! Love gives so much meaning to your existence!
I love you and myself too :-)
Do you also love yourself and a little bit of me? :-)
A touch of banter makes everything a bit more casual...
Heartfelt greetings and don't forget to open your eyes to your own beauty!
Lieve Plasch - Lic Psychology
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