5 Steps to Building a Higher Self-Esteem, And Becoming the Person You're Meant to Be!
Self-esteem, in short, is the way in which you feel about yourself. It plays an important role in how one behaves, the relationships that they form, and the amount of self-worth that they attach to themselves.
Of course, there are many factors that come into play when it comes to self-esteem. But most commonly, low-self esteem is often accompanied with:
- Poor academic performance/dropping out of school
- Social withdrawal and anxiety
- Criminal activity
- Drug & alcohol abuse
- Teen pregnancy
- An eating disorder/s
One may experience low self-esteem for a number of reasons, such as:
- Absent parents who are uninvolved or negligent.
- Peer groups that influence in a negative way.
- Trauma - sexual, physical, emotional, or a combination.
- Society's preconception of beauty - that one should look a certain way in order to be beautiful, successful, and happy.
- Having made mistakes in the past that lead one to believe that it's impossible to turn their life around.
- Negative self-talk which 'tricks' the mind into believing negative or warped ideas.
Having a low self-esteem means that one has little or no regard for themselves, causing them to act out and participate in destructive behaviours.
Luckily, these behaviours can be changed as it is merely a state of mind, and we have more control over our self-esteem than we might believe.
Guy Winch, a psychologist and author, shares his ideas about how to build up our self-esteem via the popular channel, TED Talks. He admits that doing so is "no easy task," as humans are already unstable beings in general. He also admits that having too high of a self-esteem is not good for us, as it creates narcissists ("The pursuit of gratification from vanity or egotistic admiration of one's own attributes.")
With that, he gives his top tips and tricks to developing a healthy level of self-esteem. They are:
1. Use positive affirmations efficiently
Using affirmations is a common practice among many countries and cultures. But in order to feel the full positive effects of these affirmations, one should be conscious of the way in which they are written/spoken.
For example, "I am extremely successful," tends to cause those with low self-esteem to feel worse about themselves because it is so far from what they perceive in their mind. For that reason, make your affirmations more believable such as, "I am going to persevere until I succeed!"
2. Identify your strengths and develop them
It's very easy to take note of the things that you aren't good at, but when you start to list your strengths you immediately start to see what you're capable of. Write down your talents, and work on developing and improving upon them.
3. Learn to accept (or merely tolerate) compliments
For those who have low self-esteem, it is near impossible to accept a compliment. In fact, they may wince when receiving one. Slowly, work on the ability to accept (or even just tolerate) a compliment. Train yourself to respond with things such as, "Thank you!" or "You're lovely to say that!"
4. Remove negative self-talk and start incorporating self-compassion
It's normal for us to have negative self-talk from time to time. When we don't get a promotion at work, for example, or things don't go our way, we sometimes convince ourselves that we are worthless and unable to achieve anything.
The trick in changing this negative self-talk is to think about what you would say to a friend who is going through the same thing. Surely you would not tell them that they are unworthy of good things? Then, direct those comments to yourself.
5. Incorporate a healthy supplement in your life
For some, synthetic medication is used to treat mild or severe mental illnesses. Instead or in addition, you could consider a natural substitute such as Go4Balance Enjoy herbal drops. These plant-based drops work to remove symptoms of sadness, stress, and high-sensitivity. They create a healthy platform for the healing process to begin, and pave the way for a journey towards higher self-esteem.
To end off - it is normal for one to feel alone from time to time, and to feel as though no one understands us. The key to overcoming those anxieties and beliefs is to slowly incorporate the above mentioned tools, and to celebrate your victories - no matter how big or small.
Wishing you many happy and healthy thoughts,