How Do You Make An Important Decision?
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How do you make your choices? How do you overcome indecision? How do you learn to listen to your intuition?
People often think that they have their life under control, but this isn't always true. Even I am still challenged by the universe to feel very deeply and to be happy, because it is such a healing and wise process.
The inspiration for this blog is about what I experienced myself last week. It's about the impact of a choice, how to deal with indecision and doubt, and ultimately how to listen to your intuition.
My dog, Rafke, died during the Easter holidays. Fortunately, I still have Gaelle, a sweet Labrador who is more than 10 years old. I still remember how I took the most frightened puppy out of the kennel 15 years ago and how he flourished into an adorable and bossy guy. A wonder of a dog. I am still grateful for our great time together.
And then, on July, 27th 2018 - my love for Rafke appeared to me in a dream.
The next morning, I sat down in my chair with a warm cup of coffee to check my mails, with the dream still in my mind. Then, as if it were fate, I caught the attention of something on my Facebook newsfeed. It was photos and videos of badly treated dogs in Romania. The post was a call to reach out and find host families for these neglected dogs, to give them a warm and loving home.
These poor souls were trapped in cages, their eyes empty, tired and exhausted, and they were just waiting for salvation from the outside. It was truly disturbing and horrible to witness.
After seeing this, my sensitive heart felt sad and the tears rolled down my cheeks. I was speechless! I couldn't understand how people could do this to innocent animals - the most loving creatures on earth!
And even after seeing this, trying to get on with my day, I could not find peace. I kept thinking about it, my thoughts going out to that terrible Romanian asylum. It was at that point, that I knew I had to make a choice.
But how does one make the right choice?
Step 1: Feel Your Feelings
If you feel bad or unpleasant feelings, such as anger, frustration, fear, doubt, or even physical pain, it's actually a good thing to merely feel them. You cannot hide them, and instead of trying to drown them out - simply feel them. Let them speak to you.
Step 2: Take Your Time
What I have learned over the years is to take the necessary time to feel the situation and choice that is sitting in front of you.
As I wrote in a previous article, strong emotions are often a bad counsellor - and there is a good chance that you will regret making a decision when you are basing it on a strong emotion or impulse.
For that reason, a good night's sleep before you make a big decision is a very wise thing to do. For important decisions, you sometimes need a few days or even weeks before the answer becomes more clear.
Step 3: Let It Happen - Feel the Intensity
Taking time to feel works best if you can take a break from your busy activities. For me, nature is always the place that brings peace, insight and inspiration. Perhaps you also know of such a place where you can connect with yourself?
For me, I decided to enjoy a long weekend in Luzern for a few days, an ideal place with a view of the lake and mountains. In fact, I had made the choice to visit this city before seeing the post on Facebook. Was it a coincidence? Either way, I was away from the hustle and bustle of my daily activities and made room to feel good and explore how I am going to deal with my recent predicament.
Step 4: Look at it From all Angles
It's all good and fine if you make a decision that you are happy with, but if you do so without considering every angle, you may regret your decision. You should ask yourself questions like:
- What is the impact of this choice going to have on my life?
- What happens if it gets difficult?
- Will I always feel this enthusiastic about my decision?
- Do I have enough time and attention to undertake this decision?
- If things do not go as planned, how will I respond? Who can I turn to?
Step 5: Do Your Research, Learn From Your (Or Other People's) Experience
Look at your resources and past experiences. Do you have experience and the tools to take on the decision you're contemplating? Sometimes, it's even better to hear about the experiences of others who have gone through similar situations - ask them questions, get their insights. This will help you to see things more clearly.
At the end of the day however, be sure to make your own decision! Each person is unique and what suits you may not suit your best friend, colleague or family member.
Step 6: Ask and Listen to the Universe
After experiencing all of your feelings, addressing your and other people's experiences, and drawing up an action plan to carry out your choice, it is valuable to ask for another sign from the universe. This step often brings confidence and trust in the choice that needs to be made - for me at least.
Know that the universe is always working for you when you live in accordance to your soul. Everything always happens for a reason and coincidences do not just happen. You experience them when you're ready to receive them.
My trust in the universe has never been wrong to this day. Instead, it has guided me in some of the most important things I've experienced in my life.
For example:
- During my evening walk with Gaelle, the labrador, I met two dog lovers who were also going to get adopt a dog from an asylum. Isn't that just an amazing sign from the universe? It was just what I needed to be 100% convinced.
With that, I decided that my heart and my mind are in sync, and I made the choice to adopt Louke (the name of my new pup from Romania).
I am so grateful that the pieces of my puzzle fit so nicely together, and I am grateful for the signs from the universe. My mind, heart and soul are one, the doubt is gone, and I am happy with my decision.
Are you also faced with an important decision?
Are you experiencing doubt or fear?
Then I hope that you can feel and really experience all of your feelings too. Dare to dive in! Sure, it is not always pleasant or comfortable but it definitely makes you stronger and wiser! Take your time and let your intuition or higher wisdom lead you.
As far as Louke is concerned, I will expect this sweetheart in Belgium at the end of August.
Do you also wish to give a warm home to a neglected four-legged friend? Then follow the daily work of Maria Cristina, an absolute saint who finds homes for abandoned dogs.
Enjoy the rest of your summer,
Lieve Plasch
Lic. Psychology
www.go4balance.eu